Phew! I’m finally home. What an experience it was, let me tell you: I went to my cousin Erin’s beautiful wedding in Minnesota. Oh the wedding was glorious, just stunning, beyond words! Anyway more on that later… see because I have to tell you a funny little story that happened to me, that is not at all funny for me.
My whole family decided to drive to Minnesota (a two day drive) because we’re crazy I guess. I thought we should fly but my mom believes she would die on a plane. So anyway on our return drive home we again had to make the worst trip through Nebraska. (Think of the most boring thing you can and then stare at it for hours and that is Nebraska) Then we drove nearly the whole way across Wyoming and finally after 11 excruciating hours of driving…driving…driving, our beloved town of Green River came into view. I’ve had to go to the bathroom for quite some time now and was glad that I soon would be able to. Ahhhh home sweet home.
I was driving and after taking the exit to Green River I noticed that all the stop lights were out. Hmmmm… that’s strange…. It took longer to get through the city because without stop lights traffic becomes a gnarly mess. We all want to get home, we’re sick of the car. We’ve been sitting in the car for 11 hours and on top of this the order to go pee is imminent! After getting through the mess of all the stop lights, I turn down the street that winds its way to our house. The home stretch… almost there… almost there. OH NO! I’m stopped dead in the road when I see all these flashing lights. The whole street is blocked off by police vehicles. I have no clue what is going on. All the electricity in our half of town is out, our very own street is blocked off by ten police cars, what the crap??? At this point I really have to go to the bathroom. A police officer motions for me to turn around.
OH GREAT!!! I have to take the long way home and finally pull into our drive-way. Yip-PEE I’m so ready to go to the bathroom but without electricity our garage door doesn’t open. HOW WONDERFUL! It even begins to rain, a drenching rain. This doesn’t help my situation. Not to worry my mom has a key to the front door. I’m right beside her dancing the best I-Have-To-Go-Pee-Performance of the world. She turns the key and opens the first lock then puts it into the dead-bolt and turns…..Nothing. It doesn’t budge! I’m about to explode! I have my legs crossed and I’m squeezing with every ounce of strength in me. My mom tears through her bag and tries every single key but nothing turns the dead-bolt!!! AHHH!!
I REALLY HAVE TO GO and NOW!!! In a semi-run half waddle I lurched my way to our backyard. (NOTICE: The following is not PG) I ran to the side of the house and at the very last sliver of a moment before explosion I found a secluded area and let the flood waters out. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. Ahhhhhhhhh….. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. How GLORIOUS! If you’ve ever heard Adam Sandler’s The Longest Pee it was quite similar. That was my agony and the ecstasy.
After that I ran around the house but there was still absolutely no way into our house. We tried the keys again to no avail, the windows were all locked shut too. It was continuing to pour down rain. My family thought I was hilarious having to go pee in our backyard when we all sat dripping in our car. We were all anxious to get home only to find out we’re locked out of our very own home for who knows how long! We sat in the car another hour as I read a couple more chapters from The Agony and the Ecstasy, the title of the book literally how I felt at the time, until the rain started to let up.
The thunder roared and split the sky. There was still no power, no way to get into our house. We took a walk down the street to where all the police vehicles were and discovered a crowd of people. It looked like a disaster scene from War of the Worlds. With sparks flying, police lights flashing, and a crowd of people jabbing each other for a better view. I saw two power poles in the middle of the street and across from that there were still power lines dangling and sparking. The power company was working at getting everything under control and to restore power. They told us it would be another 7 hours at the earliest until there would be any power. We all groaned. I heard rumors from the crowd that a big truck had caught a power line and dragged down the other two poles.
Seven more hours!!! It was already getting dark. Luckily we own a camping trailer. At least we wouldn’t have to spend the night in a car. I slept well in the trailer despite being so frustrated with everything that had happened. I guess it was an adventure and now I have a story to tell. :-) That’s my agony and the ecstasy story.
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